This is a year where I have evolved. I dont know if it's the baby that has soften my RBE (resting bitch everything) persona that I have developed over the years or what. All I do know is I am starting to show a softer side of myself, reflect on what's more important and focusing more who's been supportive and who's been there, less on titles. Family I am learning is who you choose to be your family. Biology is the technical part, but not all biological connections are worth the drama they bring.
Picture it, 2001-2002, I was introduced to someone who, at the time, I thought was ruining my life. He was the most nosey, loud and pushy man I had ever met and he got on my last damn nerves! I always had to compete for my mother's attention (which was something I never had to do) and I had to ask 2 people for permission to do things when my mother, for the longest, was the only one I needed for pretty much my whole life (12-13 years). As a teenager, this was the worst recipe for freedom. He always needed to know the 3 w's (who, when and where). Mama didn't really ask, or if she did, she took your word. NOOOOOO! This man asked so many questions, by the time you finished being interrogated you had an attitude and no longer wanted to go. Then that sparked another line of questioning (I hate being questioned to this day). My high school years were NOT at all how I had planned either. I got to do some stuff, but nowhere near what I thought I was because not only did this man work at the school I went to, he was becoming so popular in the city we lived, no boys would approach me in fear of being approached by him. Dating was another nightmare. Again, several questions were asked and everything but a DNA sample was asked to be presented before it was all over with. When I was able to leave the house and start my own family, I found myself practicing some of the same annoying habits I was subjected to growing up. For example, I despise someone who whisper talks; 🙄SPEAK UP! I can remember being fussed at for not speaking loud enough. I also can't stand "last minute shit!" I am a planner by nature, or perhaps I was groomed to be this way, and nothing ticks me off more than someone dropping something on me at the last minute. Growing up, I could NOT do that. Most of the time, I got a lecture first, then a strong no. All of the things I fought with him about, I now find have stuck with me in some form or fashion and I catch myself doing/saying the same stuff. Mama said I have more of his ways than I like to admit. Again, reflecting on my own practices while running my own household, mama is correct. Who is this man you ask? None other than Oz Nesbitt, Sr. By definition, he is my stepfather, my mother's husband and a non-blood relative by marriage. Realistically speaking, he's been a bonus dad in more ways than one. I try not to compare biological vs nonbiological but in this case there's no comparisons. It has not always been a smooth road but I appreciate all the lessons and tough love.
😊Happy Father's Day