I never did understand the crabs in a barrel mentality. I mean, as African Americans, we already have so many obstacles we face daily, yet we cause one another so much extra grief by being jealous. Envy is a deadly sin for a reason, it kills: minds, spirits and in come cases bodies too. Gender differences use to be more distinct back when there were only (2) but with all the fluidity, it’s hard to say who is worse. Since I identify as a woman, I will speak from a natural born woman’s POV. As a woman who is aware of her natural beauty, I also recognize beauty. I have no problem with uplifting another beautiful woman by telling her she looks great. Sometimes, as a woman, those random acts of kindness can be just the thing we need to get through the day (lord knows men can be oblivious at the wrong time). However, as a natural beauty (tooting my own horn) I have been the victim of hate from my fellow species. I mean, 🙄eye rolls, refusal to respond to a friendly “good morning” and the classic black woman attitude followd by misleading gossip. For the life of me, I never understood that. So what, she’s pretty, does that make her such a threat you have to be nasty? I would like to think I am a down to earth, chill kinda gal, yet I have never gotten along with many females based on my appearance alone.
Some took time to get to know me, others remained threaded in the shadows talking shit. This is the reason I always had/have more male friends. Once they realized they weren’t getting out of the friend zone, we were besties. Okay, okay, being totally transparent, I have been guilty of doing a little shit talking myself in my hay day, but now that I am grown and too old to carry on like that, I can definitely see this as a cultural problem (white women do it too but I think we are worse as a culture). Social media makes it 10x worse. Especially since it’s hard to determine what’s real and what’s not (some of y’all really be flexing for the gram, but do you boo boo). 😌
So, ladies, I ask this question, why are we so critical of each other? My theory is, some women (hell men too) feel as though giving someone a compliment steals their light; Not understanding that there is room for everyone to shine. You don’t dim your light by fixing someone else’s crown. It creates good karma and again, it could be just that thing to make her/his day. Another theory it the envy stems from a lack of self confidence or perhaps the presence of someone pretty and put together cause a rise in several insecurities women often carry around. Or maybe you were raised by a hater (hater niggas marry hater bitches and make hater kids (loosely quoted from Kanye lol). Seriously, it really bothers me to see/ hear us tear one another down for superficial reasons. It’s okay to fix another woman’s crown, it won’t bend or break yours. Moral of the story, being green with envy ain’t cute, so give the girls their props and cut the shit! Until next week,