(In my Varnell Hill voice) Did ya miss me??? For those who are lost go watch Martin and get with it 🙄. Anyway, I missed you guys.
So, wondering where I’ve been? I took the month of July off to visit what I call my home state (Ga Peaches 🍑 say heeeeeyyyyy). They say God allows things to happen for a reason. Well, I can testify to that. I came home for 31 days and they have been rather eventful or not. The synopsis of my trip : family is family (which means they don‘t stop their shit because you left or because you come back), a 2 week adjustment period is required for all parties involved (especially if you’re not used to living with others), those people who you communicate with while you’re out of town, provide nothing but lip service once you actually get into town (you know the “oh let’s meet up for _____ and you never hear from them again” 😒), and lastly, I probably won’t be back “home” for this amout of time for a while. I have come to realize, I need to find a new club to join. My membership in the hot girl summers club indeed expired years ago and I have
clearly lost touch with my “back home” crew. Now that I am a mom, realistically, I have only one real friend who prioritizes my friendship, (count my blessing, right?) and for that I am grateful. But as annoying as my reality is along with the fact that this trip did not go the way I saw it going in my head, I take it there’s a few things I needed to experience this level
of discomfort for more reasons than one. A lesson to be learned so to speak. Moving away, caused me to wrestle with this feeling of “missing” something that I thought I left behind when I drove I-20 west headed to Texas now 5/6 years ago. I felt the reasons I wasn’t getting the type of continued communication from “friends” once I left was because I left (you know, out of sight out of mind) but it’s the opposite & at this point, it is what it is. 🤷🏽♀️
I read (well listened because audio books are life) a book called The 5 Agreements and one of the 5 agreements is to not take anything someone says or does to you personally. I will admit, this is one of my struggles. I mean, sometimes it‘s difficult not to. Being in this awkward place or transitional period into this new chapter in my life, trying to be a mom and have a life too makes me somewhat sensitive and vulnerable. I can’t help but be in my feelings a tad when I come home and feel left out of the fun (not even a drive by visit, lunch date or nothing). Especially since I don’t know what it feels like to have a close adult girlfriend or two who kept in touch and we remained close. I don’t have a “bestie” to go out of town with or to shop for matching shoes together. Now that I’m a big girl, and opportunities for making new friends becomes less likely
and more difficult, I just chalked it up to it wasn’t meant to be, but it still bothers me that I haven’t been able to establish and maintain that kind of connection with another non-related female. So, since I’m not a single gal with all the free time I once had, and I can’t participate in the hookah and bruch type shit (since that’s all I see in IG) what do moms do for fun?
I used to make fun of those women who were in those “mommy and me” groups, but y’all, shit‘s getting real. Being a mom is great and I love my little broke bestie, but mommy needs something more too do than change diapers and clang frying pans. As much as I was initially disappointed on this trip not going according to my plan, I think God had me see all of this for myself so that I can understand my assignment and to give me direction.
Until next week,
✌🏽