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What's Love Got to Do With It?

**Some parts of this story maybe sensitive for my non-African American readers to hear. As a reminder this is my story, and it's all love 😘* (This will make sense later on)**

Welp, for me it has a lot to do with how I ended up living in bummaf&%$, Missouri and how I will never experience civilization again. 😩LOL! No seriously, I am only in this special and unique lifestyle, simply put, I fell in love. Let me take you back a bit...picture it, August 2006. I was in my homeroom math class, AP Statistics (don't ask why I did that to myself, senior year at that) and in walks this little knobby kneed chocolate boy with too big striped clothes on (if you were there you know exactly what I am talking about). He sat in the desk next to me and we didn't necessarily become friends that day, but we were cordial. Mind you, I had this class everyday, first thing in the morning. I wasn't even awake until 3rd period. Time passes and it's quiz time. Well shit, (in my Leslie Jordan voice; look him up, he's hilarious) I dont know what I'm doing, but chocolate stripe seems to know so I ask, "pssst, whats the answer to #1?" His reply and I quote, "You should have studied." Then proceed to put his ashy elbo in the way so I can't see. Excuse me?? From that point I gave him hell🔥. We eventually became friends but it was a bumpy start. I even asked him to prom (I needed a date ASAP and he was available and decent looking enough not to mess up my pictures 😂; Judge ya mammy). After high school we kept in touch, visiting each other time to time when I came home. The magic did't spark (meaning he didn't catch my Love Jones😍) until after we both moved back home from college.

Now, this entire time, we have been nothing but FRIENDS (idc if you dont' believe me). After school, we ended staying down the street from one another and hung out often. I moved out months later, after starting my masters program (shout out Mercer University, Atlanta Campus) and he would come by to escape the adult living back at home drama (ladies, keep that boy bestie and one day his ex will fuck up and you'll be right there to swoop in) J/K that definitely not how it happened, scouts honor 🖖🏽. We truly just hung out (a lot, even when we were dating other people) and talked. Anyway, during these frequent visits, he mentioned something about the Army. I never took it serious because I never knew it would effect me one way or the otherJoke was on my ass. I guess you can say he got glasses and saw how much of a golden goddess I was because not long after that we were a couple, living together and everything. This is the last time I'd live in a real city😞.

For my military spouses, you know how ass-backwards this shit is. For the "civilians", the military life is ass-backwards, but it was ultimately my decision. Here we are, once again, my chocolate stripe mentions joining the military, but this time it hits different. What does that even mean? The closest thing I knew about the military was the movie honoring my favorite veteran Major Benson Winnifred Paine (if you know you know). So how does it work when one person wants to go left and the other one wants to go right? I had my career and I was settled with living in Atlanta, chocolate stripe had other dreams. Do I stay or do I go? He is truly was my bestie and I couldn't imagine life without him in it and I knew the military would take hime away if I wasn't in that duffle bag. We, well I, decided getting married before he got "shipped off" was the only way I was going to play along. Here's where the shit kicks off: Engaged Christmas Eve, married NYE( 6 days later), alone for 6 months after only being married for 2 weeks. So much for saying "Yes to the Dress." I figured since I've gone this far, might as well keep on going I'm still going 5 years in (keep me near the cross).

This kick starts my first chapter in this military spouse life I've heard so much about. Good old Killeen, Texas 🙄🙄🙄. Let's jus say we have a love hate relationship. I will say, it gave me the experience only life can give. I had never been around so many “wypipo“ in my life. These were different kind of white folk than from back home. They weren't scared (j/k). They were bold and borderline rude (no thanks to our former POTUS). You know, they were the kind who ask to touch your hair or that says shit like "You don't sound like you're from that area". Yeah, them kind. Needless to say, I had to adjust and quickly. To be honest, outside of my social circle, I’d never been treated like I was different or looked at as less because they all looked and talked like me. But in KILL-een, where Juneteenth is a celebrated holiday (since they were the LAST to emancipate slaves) and black history month activities are optional, let’s just say they will always remember Mrs. Simms 😉. I definitely left my mark (sorry not sorry). Time passes and it's quiz time.

Funny, but true, I was known behind closed doors (at the devil campus which will remain nameless) as the "eye roller." They didn't know I knew, but after 3 years of defending my position as a highly qualified pro-black (not anti-white) professional and getting shit for not being one of those submissive "Yessuh massah" folks they are used to dealing with, I stop caring about how they felt. Pissing them off on purpose became the way I was able to cope. We I moved campuses, I thought I was saved. I just landed in a different kind of environment; seclusion. I dont know if I scared them or they weren't interested but I was pretty much transparent. Some days I was appreciative to be left alone. Other days, it annoyed me simply because I wasn't invited to the meetings after the meetings of things that effected me. Either way, I had enough of the Lone Star State.

Then 2020 happened! School and my life as I knew it was completely undone and flipped upside down. BUT, I got the blessing of a lifetime: my baby girl. Shortly after finding out I was expecting, I got news that chocolate stripe will be going to officer's school for several months and may or may NOT be back in time for baby girl to get here. 😳Talmbout stress!!!! In turn, she came 2 weeks early (Went into labor Thanksgiving morning at 4:00 am). I had to call daddy and we waited for him to make the 10 hour drive back and she came. Such a beautifully painful experience. Ready for the second layer of bullshit? We moved 2 weeks later...10 hours away...with a 3 week old baby. Lordt ha merceh what was we thinking. I ain't never been so tied in my life. We made it though and it's been challenging.

I'll leave you with this cliffhanger, Missouri ain't it 👏🏽at 👏🏽all. Until next week...✌🏽

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