One of the hardest things to do...
Y’all!!! If you know me, ever worked with me or been a part of anything I’ve spearheaded, you’ll know I am definitely type A personality! Some would even call me bossy (whatever 😒). Apparently, I’ve been this way all my life 🤷🏽♀️. Now that I have a career and a family of my own where I get to do what I like (tell little people what to do & be the boss of my own world; kinda) it‘s worse. Being an educator has enhanced my planning and organization skills by 1000% annnd perhaps given me a splash of OCD. I would spend hundreds of dollars every school year on fancy planners (judge ya mammy) and packs (yes more than one ) of new flair pens (my favorite). To this day, back to school supply shopping makes me happy (I don’t care what you have to say lol).
Weeeelllll...this lifestyle that I "chose" makes it difficult for the planner that dwelleth in me to be great. Hell, she can’t even be good. Things in my snow globe are always, Always, ALWAYS changing without a moments notice & with zero f@*%s given. So you can only imagine the multiple internal heart ♥️attacks I have when this happens. A friend recently told me I shouldn’t let things such as inconsistency bother me since as an Army wife this comes with it and this is what I signed up for. Anyone who’s ever been a military spouse (current or former) knows that statement to not be as simple as she put it. Yes, I chose my relationship and followed it where it took me, but I did not chose to be married and single at the same time. I did not chose to be a single mom 98% of the time or to be moved to some of the most remote (rural and destitute) places the USA has to offer. I’d be lying to you if I said her perspective/comments didn’t annoy me a little 🤏🏽, but it caused me to really sit with my feelings and analyze myself. Why did I get so bothered? Then, I had to realize and remember, everyone on the outside looking in will see a different picture from the person who is front and center everyday. One thing she did say that brought my floating balloon🎈back down a bit, was to protect my peace. (Hey! I did a post on that last week. Go check it out if you missed it 😉). Here I am taking my own advice.
Back to my point. Being the type of woman I am, going with the flow has never been something I did either on purpose or accident. It’s just not something I ever learned to do once I became the pilot👩🏽✈️ of my plane. I like to be in control because know what to expect if I’m in control. However, that’s one of things I will HAVE to do in order to 1) survive this ”chosen lifestyle” and 2) keep from having high blood pressure. Another friend told me life is about change and overcoming challenges. As silly and simple as this task may be to others, it‘s a major challenge for me to release the need to be in control (it’s my comfort zone; my security blanket if you will). So, y’all, keep your girl in your prayers!
Until next week, ✌🏽