Back in 2018, I was in my most vulnerable and fragile state when it came to my appearance. At the time, I was almost 300 lbs and I was headed down the genetic path of diet related health issues (the suga and salt disease). On top of that, I had fat ankles and my feet always hurt. I would avoid various activities that required squeezing into small spaces or sitting in "average" size seats like stadium seats (my hips would be killing me after a few minutes). It was a mental and physical battle to not only be kind to myself but to find clothes to hide the parts I didn’t like (all of them). I learned to find things to accentuate such as big hair or a beat face. Inside thought, I wasn’t happy and often felt sad when I’d pass a mirror. Finally, someone loved me enough to say “I’m concerned about your health; I know you’ve tried everything else but I want you to look into weight loss surgery” I was hesitant at first because this meant for me I failed in maintaining my own fitness, it was out of my control. Tearfully, I made the appointment and talked to my doctor who agreed I would be a good candidate for bariatric surgery. After a few prerequisite appointments and referrals I had a date and the preparation began. Fast forward, I lost 92lbs and made to the 100s (my hadn’t been in the 100s in a long time). I was super excited, I felt confident and free from the burden of being self conscious. Now almost 4 years and a 15 month old baby girl later, I am back struggling with my weight. For those who think I took the “easy” way out, that’s not true. Ain’t shit easy about this process. It’s always on my mind and it’s still the center of my self-confidence. Prior to COVID, I used to attend weight loss group meetings After reaching out to I said all that to say, if you are like me, feeling self-conscious because of a few things you'd like to change about your body, I am speaking to you too. Be kind (and realistic) with yourself. Stay off IG (they will have you suicidal and hungry trying to look like them "models"). It's okay to have a "real woman's" body that consist of whatever you have on yours. Moral of the story: Love yourself more than you do now and stick with it. If not, fake it til you make it 😋.
Until Next week,